Who understands is what I often silently scream to myself! Who understands the pain, the hurt, the confusion and all of these empty feelings that I feel. It seems like everyone is going on with their life except me, it seems like everyone is okay, except me. It seems like no one understands what I'm going through except me but I often asked the question "Doesn't anyone understand"?!
January 1989 I fathered my first child, my junior, and of course and I was a very proud father and so in love with my son, my newborn and my firstborn. As a parent and by nature (God-given of course )we are protective of our children, wanting to protect them from the evil that's in this world, from the pain they may endure from a fall, or broken heart as they experience life. Unfortunately we cannot, no matter how hard we try protect our children from every hurt, pain etc... Although we covet the desire and the will to do so. We begin to live life as best as we can but every parent has this thought in the back of their minds, "I hope I never get that call." The call that every parent dreads that something tragic has happened to one of their children. Who would understand the pain and loss I would encounter, is there anyone that would understand.
Unfortunately I received the call that my son was tragically murdered for no apparent reason other than being in the wrong place at the wrong time at least in the secular view. my son was 30 days shy of turning 24 years young but his life was cut short by an individual who didn't stop to think about the ripple effect and hurt that this would cause to countless of people. As any parent could imagine I was devastated by this news and immediately a part of me died. I knew that nobody could understand what I was going through as a parent, nobody knew the feelings that bottled up in my soul. It didn't matter how many people said they understood and knew what I was going through but I knew that unequivocally they did not understand nor ever will.
I must say that I'm a firm believer in the sovereignty of God and because I belong to Him I know that He is concerned and active in all parts of my life including my family, friends etc. Still, I questioned who understands, there's no one who understands. Keep in mind just because one belongs to God through Christ does not mean they are exempt from tragedies nor the hurt and pain when they occur, Christians are still 100% human. Although we have the comfort that only God's Spirit can bring and the consolation that only He can give, and the strength that only He can provide.
The question still screams silently in my heart "Who understands?!!!" There are only two who could possibly understand, one who has experienced the loss of a child and two, God. When my soul screams "Who understands" I'm reminded that God lost His Only Son to a tragic death that was not His. The most important Being understands, not only because He's our Creator but because He knows what it's like to lose a Son to a tragic death. What's worse is that He was sinless, what scholars call impeccable, He was pure, innocent and sinless. God's sovereignty, meaning although tragic yet God is all-powerful and always in control no matter what. God's Son was brutally beaten, scoffed at, spit upon, tortured finally murdered by an angry mob who shouted for His execution. God Understands pain, hurt, suffering etc. He understands, in fact ironically yet tragically but in God's goodness the Bible teaches that God put the sins of the world on Jesus who knew no sin in order that we might (humanity) stand right before God. (II. Cor. 5)
The price for sin is death, according to the Bible, and therefore total separation from God eternally but in God's goodness and because of His love for His creation He personally puts sin on the sinless One in order that we might be forgiven for our sins, given we place our faith in what God has done for us through Jesus. Every individual is accountable for themselves to God, either we receive what he has done for us in paying for our sin through Jesus by way of repenting or reject God's offer and pay for sin ourselves which is eternal death and separation forever from God.
God Understands! Because of what He has done through Jesus we can be reunited with our family who has previously died having received the forgiveness of God and now lives forever with Him and having placed our faith in what God has done through Jesus, the good news is I'll not only be with God forever and ever but I also will be with my son forever and ever. I hold on to this hope of seeing my son again in eternity, my son confessed his sins before God and receive Jesus as his Savior years ago, although my son was not perfect he's forgiven by a perfect God and I shall see him again. God Understands...
I thank God that He sent Jesus to die FOR ME and RESURRECTED FOR ME, take it personal your eternity depends on it.
Calvary Oak Cliff
1822 West Tenth Street
Dallas, TX 75208